According to his rabbi-friend, there was no one to interfere with Michael Jackson’s efforts to curb pain. And he always had some ailment of the body. In reality, Jackson’s biggest pain was emotional and psychological, as he was always battling depression. He always felt purposeless and lethargic. His response to his affliction of the soul was to medicate physical pain.

He had been using narcotic painkillers such as Demerol, OxyContin, and Lidocaine. There is also suspicion that he was even administered with the surgical anesthesia Propofol. The drug, issued strictly to medical personnel, was found at his home after he died.

Personal revelations from Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, Michael Jackson’s friend for several years, who is an Orthodox Jewish rabbi with a secular outreach and TLC show “Shalom in the Home,” defines the King of Pop as a hugely tragic figure.

Boteach describes Jackson as ‘a tortured, tortured soul.’ He did not know love. He always thought that he had to perform to earn love. There have been reports that his father physically abused him when he was a child. He lived for his father’s approval. He lived with the pain of never having earned his father’s affection.

His was a permanent insecurity. Jackson’s tragedy of existence was his notion that if he became average, people would forget him.

As investigations unfold, a picture of Michael Jackson is slowly emerging. He was a star who would always be medicated before he performed which means that he was always high on drugs when onstage.

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Via CNN