Vampires for long have fascinated me and I have dreamed of visiting sinister chapels and abandoned churches all across Wallachia and Transylvania. And like my role models, I have detested the smell of garlic too and it is almost fatal for me to smell the pungent root. Joe recently came across these obnoxious Garlic Mints, which are meant to send my role models back to their dusty coffins.

These foul smelling garlic mints come in a gothic tin and look as depressing as a day at the front seat of a church. I always have wondered why people have hated vampires and why they would need ‘vampire repellants’. It totally is unfair to target a well-meaning, peace-loving breed that believes in the principle of pleasure and blood.

Every time a product like this is launched, I get that sinking feeling and I curse the humanity for being so unkind to vampires, who make excellent lovers and companions. By now, you must all have guessed I belong to the breed of blood thirsty vampires and if you would a seductive vampire as a lover, you know you wouldn’t want to spend $4.95 to buy these lethal Garlic Mints and ruin the chances of a date with a vampire. Joe perhaps feels the same way too, and warns of the effects these vampire repelling Garlic Mints can have on your social life.

Depressed as I am, I can swear upon my cloven hooves for that.

Via: BookOfJoe